Are You Feeling Overwhelmed?

An excerpt from my journal Fall 2011 - right before my family's lives changed dramatically (and the reason my blogs stopped)

"Do you ever feel so overwhelmed that it seems you almost can't even function? That is how I have been feeling for the last 4 months.  Like I have so much to do that it just stops me in my tracks!  From running my child care (60+ hours a week) to taking care of my family, to cleaning house and all that entails, to being a homeschooling mom (which is a full time teaching position) to additional family drama and stress that I have no control over - sometimes I just want a break from my life!! I want to do it all, and yet I have a hard time realizing that I can't.  I would like to post more blogs, take my kids on more walks, actually work on my scrapbooks (instead of just collecting supplies) watch more movies, cook more, bake more, take my kids on fun day trips, and the list just keeps growing.  Why do we as women feel the need to do it all?
I want to be super mom.... but I'm not.  I want to have the kids best birthday parties... but I don't.  I want to have a home cooked meal on the table every night... but we eat fast food a lot. I want to read more bed time stories to my kids... but I'm too tired by that time.  I want to have a clean, organized home... but we never seem to get it done. I want to go on dates with my husband... but we are never free at the same time.  I want to read my bible more and join a women's bible study... but can't coordinate any of the days.  I have so many things I want to do, and yet, I seem to stop before I even get started.
I guess in the end, I need to ask myself what is important? What to I want my kids to remember about their childhood?  A mom that was so frazzled she never spent time with them or one who sat down to build Lego's with them?  I know the answer, I just have so much trouble getting to that place."

It's interesting reading this now, after going through the tragic events my family has had to survive. (More on my family's experiences in future blogs.) As a result of the events that took place in fall of last year, I have such a different perspective on life.  I have always been a thankful, grateful person, seeing the positive in most situations.  And reading this reminds me that it really is about the little things.  I have learned not to care about the things that really don't matter.  If the floor doesn't get mopped - oh well... instead we spent time curled up on the couch reading a chapter book. All the lesson plans for school didn't get accomplished - oh well... instead we spent time observing the birds in our back yard. 

I am learning more and more to stop and make the little moments matter.  My job has changed - I no longer run a day care, instead I have become the owner of an at home business.  One that brings families together.  I am working on bringing my husband home from the work force and teaching other families how to do the same thing.  It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done! I love helping people - and my kids are watching and growing with me!

We continue to home school. My daughter is 8 and in 3rd grade, my middle son is 6 and in 1st grade and my baby boy is now 2!!!  We let our interests and the things around us guide our learning.  A couple of nights ago we watched and listened as the sky was filled with thunder and lightning which resulted in learning about it the next day.  So much more impactful when we are able to experience what we are learning! 

I look forward to sharing our lives with you once again.... and posting helpful things we are doing, using and learning in future blogs.  Many of my friends have asked to explain our chore chart system, discipline methods we use, the way we do allowance, homeschooling ideas, recipes, tips and tricks I use to stay organized and so much more.  I look forward to sharing all of these things with you in future blogs as well as sharing our personal story - tragedy and all, in the hopes that it will help another family. 

I am on a journey of self discovery - every day is a new day. I will rejoice and be glad in it!!

God Bless! ~Erica

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom."  James 3:13