New Year Resolutions (or in our case Life Changes)

Do you make and then break your new year resolutions?

Do you make them with the best intentions to keep them... but a couple of days later decide to quit?

What kind of resolutions do you make?

Are they generic? Specific?

Do you set dates and goals to accomplish them?

Several years ago, my husband and I started making Family New Year Resolutions, except we call them Life Changes. It all started because one year my husband said that he wanted to work on gratitude for the next year. And that just spiraled into us making thankfulness something we wanted to work on as an entire family. That year, we really took the time to thank everyone who helped us in anyway, whether with time or generosity. We wanted to make sure that the people in our lives knew how truly thankful we are for them! And now, being thankful is second nature to all of us. We decided to make a life change in our family and used the New Year as a starting point.

That was just the beginning of our yearly family resolutions or life changes. In the years that followed, we have worked on organization, decluttering, spending less & making more of our gifts, learning to be more frugal & save money and last year we focused on healing our family & fixing our eyes on the Lord. I believe this has resulted in our family becoming better people - people who are constantly on the hunt to be the best we can be!

These areas are extremely broad topics so we narrow them down and then set more specific goals to achieve as a family. This year we have decided to work on being healthier. This is a super broad topic that could apply to many things. We are going to work on several specific areas eating, sleeping and exercise.

Please note: WE ARE NOT GOING ON A DIET!!!! Diets were made to be broken! However, we want to gradually move our poor eating choices to eating more naturally. Meaning, we want to eat more fresh fruits, veggies and non processed foods. This is not something we are doing cold turkey. That would not work for my family. However, we have set specific goals into place to help us achieve our long term vision. My entire family, including me, would live on fast food if we could afford it! We are definitely fast food junkies. We love sweets, chips, all those good ol' non healthy things! The funny thing is my kids LOVE fruits and veggies, too. So, we are taking their love for plant based products and running with it!

When making a resolution stick, it has to be something my family is willing to do. And, when setting a goal such as eating healthier, we also need to have rewards. We love a thick, juicy, cheesy, bacony hamburger or a hot cheesy melty pizza. Why not let that be a reward?  The beauty is that it will taste that much yummier when it is special and once in a while!

I have always believed that you need to reward yourself, whether it is eating healthy for a week and treating yourself to frozen yogurt. Or maybe its getting all your things done without procrastinating so you treat yourself to a movie night. Or maybe you exercised everyday and so you get a day to be lazy. Whatever it is, you need to reward yourself for accomplishing small goals. Just remember... moderation.  Its ok to have that frozen yogurt, but get the small size with fruit on top instead of the ginormous order that makes you sick to your stomach! Just sayin'!

The second part of my family's being healthier resolution is sleeping. We are horrible at sticking to a routine, which is why the area of sleeping is an area that needs work. Especially when it comes to our two year old. He doesn't want to sleep in his bed and even if he does go to sleep in his bed at the start of the night, he wakes up in the middle and climbs into ours. This results in neither my hubby nor myself getting a great night of sleep. Without proper sleep, our body can not function properly.

Through pinterest, I found a chart for proper sleep times of children on angie's list. You can check it out below or at the following link: http://www.angieslist.com/articles/infographic-bedtime-how-much-sleep-should-your-child-be-getting.htm?CID=Social09202012BedtimeGraphic This chart recommends 10-11 hours of sleep for 7-12 year olds. I know my 6 year old and eight year old do not get that much. We are constantly on the go and often trade sleep for doing other things.

We are making a couple of specific goals in the area of sleep. First, we are deciding on a schedule that fits our family and then sticking to it as much as possible. Our schedule will not be the same every day of the week, since our activities and my hubby's work schedule are not the same every day. However, the bedtime routine will remain the same no matter what time it starts.

Second, we are just going to have to say no to some of those activities that do not coincide with our schedule. It is the only way we will be able to stick to healthier sleeping and eating habits. The schedule may have to change as the seasons change or as activities change... But that is Okay! The whole point of this is to make it work for our family. No family is exactly alike - so why try to make my family fit into another family's schedule? It just won't work. I have to do what is best for us!

We also have rewards for our kids (like I mentioned earlier, rewards are important for adults too!!) If they get all of their night time chores done and are in bed on time without my hubby or me having to remind them they get a "ticket" on their chore chart. These tickets are used to turn in for prizes, 15 minutes of a video game or TV, to name just a few. (More on our chore chart in a future post.)

The last part of our being healthier resolution is exercising more. We LOVE to ride bikes, but never seem to have enough time. We are going to make it a part of our weekly routine/schedule. It has to be scheduled in or it won't get done. Our goal is to take 2 rides per week and do one other type of exercise twice a week, whether it is dancing, walking, soccer, stretching or yoga. One of the kids will get to determine what we do each week during the scheduled time. This is a great way to make sure they feel involved and a part of the decision making process. This is super important to keep their interest in the activity. As with eating, we are going to slowly introduce the exercise so we don't overdo it at the beginning and lose momentum before we even get started.

Most importantly, we write down our goals and have the kids write down their goals, too. Then we put them in places we can see them as a reminder that we have an area of life we are working on changing. We are still working on our weekly schedule, which will be posted next to the kids' chore chart. There are a few more things we need to fine tune. We let the kids give their input and make some choices, but in the end, Mom and Dad have the final say.

(For the link to the above goal setting chart and a great article on smart goal setting go to this link:
http://www.burrellesluce.com/freshideas/2010/01/smart-goal-setting-for-2010/ )

Quick Review of how we create our Family New Year Resolutions or Family Life Changes:
Decide on an area you want to change in your family's life.
Narrow that down into 2-5 more specific areas.
Figure out how you are going to accomplish and measure those goals.
Write them down and hang them up where your family can be reminded of the goal.

When making your New Year Resolutions this year, don't make them just so you can break them... instead, think of a life change you want to make. And if you can get your family involved, even better!!

Our Family Christmas Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

Another year has come and gone and we've spent it as busy as ever! The older the kids get, the faster time flies! If you are reading this letter then the world has not ended. Which we already knew wouldn’t happen since Jesus said in Matthew 24:36, 44 “But of that day no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only… Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” Although we cannot wait to join Jesus upon His return, we are enjoying our life here on earth. Watching our little miracles grow is quite the adventure and we are enjoying every minute of it!!

Our baby boy turned two in October. He is a boy with a mind of his own. He loves to cuddle and read stories with Mom, but his favorite thing in the world is Daddy (next to his treasured teddy bear, of course.) When Daddy walks in the door he is greeted by a loud "Daddy home" and a giant smile. He is super fun to watch play. I just love his imagination. He makes his toys talk, laugh and cry! He loves to cook in his play kitchen. His favorite thing to play is Thomas and all of his train friends. He loves trains, airplanes, motorcycles, monster trucks, helicopters... anything that makes loud noise and goes fast. He is an inquisitive little fellow and is always asking questions about the world around him. He is super shy around new people or in new situations, but once he warms up, he is the star of the show. He is super musical and loves to dance. He enjoys any time he can listen to Daddy play the guitar or piano. If he is not at Daddy's side, you will find him with his other best friend, our chocolate lab. Although he plays well with his big brother and sissy, he knows just how to get under their skin! Heprovides so much joy to our home; I now know why God sent him to us as a wonderful surprise.

My big boy is six and in first grade. He is super smart and quick to pick up on anything you want to teach him. He can memorize anything faster than you can read it. He goes through his bible verses and books at his Awanas club so fast that his leaders have a hard time finding more for him to do. He came home one night and said that one of his leaders told him to slow down. I feel their pain! His current favorite activities include legos, building electrical circuits (a kit we have) and reenacting any number of things we have learned in school - history, science, fiction - doesn't matter, he will be reenacting it for a while if it interests him. He loves to ask questions and then research to find the answer. One of his favorite places is the library. He loves to read so much that I actually have to tell him to quit reading! I consider that a good thing!! He has a special pet – a leopard gecko. The gecko is pretty cool to watch – especially when he is hunting crickets. He lets us hold him and pet him. He is very friendly. He also has an incredible love for Christ. His mastery of the storyline of the Bible is pretty unique for a child his age. Not only does he know the stories, he has a profound and deep understanding of them. I am constantly amazed by his knowledge and I know that God has big plans for his life. I see the Holy Spirit working in him. He and his big sis were baptized at our church in October.

My daughter is eight and in third grade. She is my biggest helper and my baby boy thinks of her as another Mom. On Mother's Day, she surprised me by letting me sleep late, getting the baby out of bed, feeding him and playing with him so I could rest. Then she made me breakfast. She is an incredible girl and I am so grateful to be her Mom. She has a flair for the arts. She loves to draw, color, paint, make crafts and anything musical. She has a messy artist mind that I just don't understand however hard I try. She is just like her Daddy! She has an incredible empathy towards others. I tell her all the time that I wish I could be a kid again just so I could be her friend. She is super thoughtful and is usually putting someone else before herself. She also spends a lot of time reading, but also enjoys playing with her Barbies, dressing up or doing something artsy! She has a hamster that she loves to play with and care for. It is her own little baby to love. She is the one I can count on to come when I call for help with something. I am so blessed to have her as my oldest.

 My hubby has become busier than ever. He continues to work long hours. He has also started a second job helping out his ex boss. When someone asks him for help, he has a hard time saying no. As a result, when his ex boss said he was opening a new restaurant, my hubby agreed to work on one of his days off and on the weekends after his other job. This means... we never see him! When he is home he is usually sleeping and resting up for the next week! He still plays guitar as much as he can, but wishes he had more time to devote to music.

 Due to unfortunate circumstances, we closed up the child care in February. As a result, I have been able to spend much of my time with the kids and enjoy watching them be little people.  I stay busy with my three munchkins as we continue to homeschool, which keeps me busy enough. I spend most of my time planning school work, doing school work and researching school work... it is more than a full time job. However, I still find some time for myself. I am still a big crafter... scrapbooking, card making, knitting, and whatever else strikes my fancy. I love using pinterest to hunt for my newest creation or new recipe that I want to try. I have a blog that I hope can help other families with hope, ideas, tips, tricks and simplifying lives. You can follow my blog at justonemomslife.blogspot.com if you want to see what we are up to! I also started selling a healthy coffee for an international coffee company Organo Gold. It has been a way for me to earn extra income while being able to stay home with my kids. I know that this is where God has called me to be... raising my incredible children and learning more from them than they could ever learn from me. Being a Mom is the best job... I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Our family zoo is rounded out with our 16 year old kitty. He spends 23 hours a day sleeping and is always looking for a warm lap to snuggle. As a family we have taken up biking. My two oldest and I all got new bikes this year and my hubby’s bike got a tune up. He wants a new one – but at the price of a new car I said no way! Hahaha! We haven’t been out biking much this winter however we are all itching to go. We were doing 10 mile rides and loving it! My eight year old girl is strong and made for riding a bike with her long legs! She is usually the leader of our pack! And the baby loves to ride along, often falling asleep on long rides. We have a seat for him that goes on my bike between the handlebars and my seat for when we go on mountain bike rides and a friend let us borrow her trailer, to use when we are riding through town and on paved bike trails. With the loss of my child care income, we are struggling to keep our home, however we know that God has a plan for us. The not knowing is the hardest part. So who knows where we will end up next year, but we are looking forward to the adventure God has planned for our family. We have decided it doesn’t really matter… as long as we stick together!

We hope you have a very Merry Christmas! God Bless you and your family in the New Year.

Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, Unto us a child is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Love in Christ!

Do you teach your children to pray?

When I heard the news of the shooting in Connecticut, I just broke down in tears. My heart was, and still is, heavy for that community and those families. I have spent quite a bit of time asking God to give those families rest  in the knowledge that He will conquer all in the end. It has been a week since the horrific event, and yet, every time I hear anything about it, see pictures or even just think about it, my eyes tear up. And now they show the funerals and caskets for those little babies... I can not imagine the loss of a child. My family has been through a lot in the last year, but the loss of those families make my problems seem minuscule. It really puts your life in perspective. Makes you appreciate what you have just a little more. Makes you hug your loved ones a little tighter. Makes you remember that the little things that drive you crazy really don't matter. Makes you rethink your priorities.

On the day of the shooting, my kids walked in on me bawling my eyes out and of course wanted to know what was wrong. After telling them, my 6 year old son said that he hoped all the children and adults who died knew Jesus and that their families know Jesus. His reason? So the families left behind know the children are now safe in heaven with God. He is so intuitive. He knew that the families were in pain and hurting and at the same time he knew to turn to Jesus for comfort. I love that about him.  He amazes me constantly with his insight and direct line to God. He is constantly my teacher. He is such a special kid. I know God has incredible plans for his future. 

Several years ago, I made a decision to transform my walk with Christ. I made a conscious choice to seek Him daily, to pray and to teach my children about His love for us. My kids see me pray and meditate on God's word during my personal devotions. We pray as a family during our family bible reading. We pray before meals... most of the time! My kids are the ones who remind me when I forget! My kids pray each night before bed. And most importantly, we pray when we feel the need arise.

In this picture, my children are praying over the Operation Christmas Child boxes that they packed. They each prayed for the child that would receive it and that upon hearing the Good News he/she would accept Jesus into his/her heart.

I love hearing my kids pray. I love it when I hear them just "talk" to God. The things they choose to pray about and the things for which they ask amaze me. I would guess that 99% of their prayers are giving thanks. They thank God for his creation. They thank God for things they have. They thank God for the people in their lives. They spend so much of their time thanking God for everything! I love that they have hearts of thankfulness. They even thank God for things that haven't happened yet, like the healing of our family, things they want and better yet about Jesus' return to earth to conquer sin.

Both my eight year old daughter and my 6 year old son have an incredible grasp of the fact that God has a plan for their lives and that all they need to do is be thankful for whatever it is.  Then they can rest in the knowledge that it will be done and everything we go through helps to mold us into the person we are going to become. Even in the face of the "bad" things that have happened, we have been able to look at them as a way that we might be able to help someone in the future. Even if we can't fully thank God that they happened, we can thank God for the lives we might be able to help from sharing our story. Amazingly, they "get" it!!

I think they have such an amazing grasp of their relationship with God because they already know that they have a direct line to Him. They can talk to Him anytime, anywhere, however they want. They can share their deepest darkest fears, secrets as well as their happiest, joyful moments! They are constantly teaching me. When I pray and ask God to provide groceries, my kids are thanking him for the food in our bellies. When I pray and ask God to please help us with our house struggles, they are thanking God for the roof over our head. When I pray and ask God to help my hubby and I be better parents, they are thanking God for us. I have learned so much from my children regarding prayer and have adapted their thankfulness prayers into my daily routine! I learn so much more from them than they will ever learn from me!

When talking to your children about prayer, listen to their innocent hearts and grow with them. Help them to adapt a heart of thankfulness. Teach them that its OK to turn to God whenever we feel like it. And when we are faced with a horrific tragedy, after doing your best to explain it, help them turn to God. Help them turn to prayer and know that God is better than a best friend, because He is always there to listen.

This is a picture of our Elf on the Shelf after the school shooting. She brought 27 candles and asked us to take a day of prayer and light a candle for each life lost. We said each person's name and asked God to comfort the families that are mourning. We also thanked God that we have each other. It was a good way to open discussion about the events that had taken place. We continue to pray for those families. My heart is just broken for them! I know that the only place they can find comfort is in our Creator. My hope is that you and your family will join us in prayer.

Time to Declutter

Are you a collector? I like to think of myself as a collector of all things beautiful! When I have a hobby... I collect, an interest... I collect, something sentimental... I collect, a passion... I  collect. I have a hard time letting things go because, what if I might need it someday? It never fails that when I get rid of something I end up needing it or thinking to myself, "where in the world did I put that?"

Are you a pack rat like me? Or are you one of those people that can easily get rid of things? I have a sister that is constantly purging the items in her house. I envy her... well, a little bit. At least I am an organized pack rat!



Example of a hot spot in our school room - the art corner.

It is time to declutter. I do two major clean outs - one right before summer so I can have a garage sale and one right before Christmas - to make room for all the new stuff that will be filling our home. Whenever I feel the need to do a major clean out and declutter, I watch one of those hoarding shows for inspiration. I am not trying to degrade the people on those shows in any way. I realize that the people on those shows have serious conditions, traumas that have happened to them and some even have mental disabilities that cause them to end up like that. I just use the show as a way to remind myself how things could end up... and I ask myself some of the same questions that you might hear on the shows:

Have I used it or worn it in the last year?

Is it broken and fixable? How long has it been broken with the intent to fix it? Am I really going to fix it? Or is it unusable and needs to go in the trash?

Would someone else be able to use it if I am not currently using it?

Sentimental stuff...

Is it something that I can use or am I just storing it in a box? Do I have room to store it?

Does any one else care about this item? Or is it just something my kids will have to sort through when I am gone?

These are some great questions that can help you as you organize and declutter your home.

I have gotten so much better about what I save and what I get rid of. Especially since I have started my year long house decluttering system. I go through one room or area of my house a month and take time each week to go through the items in that room. I give myself a time limit, whether that is an afternoon or just 10 minutes, I dedicate that time to getting rid of items in that room. More on how I keep my entire house organized and save time doing it in a future blog.

One thing to remember is that getting rid of things and decluttering is a process. It didn't all just show up one day, it has accumulated over time. So diligently take time to go through and get rid of it.  Like an onion, peel back a layer at a time. Its easier and less painful that way!

I also try to help my kids to keep their clutter to a minimum. I want them to learn good habits now so that they will carry those habits into adulthood - well, at least I hope they do!

My kids have to do a daily 10 minute "hot spot" as part of their daily chores on their chore chart. A hot spot is a term used by The Fly Lady that means a spot that fills with clutter - a place where things tend to collect and need to be sorted and put away. (If you want ideas on how to clean and organize your home her blog has amazing  ideas and ways to clean - one step at a time. You can check out her blog here: http://flylady.net/ )  Going back to my kids, they have to do a daily hot spot.  Sometimes they get to choose the hot spot and sometimes I get to choose. But the fact is, if they are going through and decluttering daily, it will help them to keep those areas of their rooms clean.  Some of the hot spots in my kids rooms are: desk, top of dresser, knick knack shelf, bucket of toys, dresser drawer, one of their "hiding spots", under the bed, corner of the closet. I will have a future post on our chore chart and how it has simplified my kids day as well as my own.



Decluttering and reorganizing the craft supplies - a hot spot in our school room!

Another way I help my kids stay uncluttered is I have limits on what they can keep. Which means, if they get a new stuffed animal, they need to get rid of one in their room.  If they are getting a new toy, they need to get rid of one.  Its ok if they choose a broken one, as long as they are getting rid of something!

One last note; I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I do two major clean outs a year. The one at the beginning of summer is so I can have a garage sale. I have one strict rule for my kids and myself when it comes to items in the garage sale - once we have committed to getting rid of it, it can not go back in the house. I do not allow myself to shop at my own garage sale as I have witnessed so many of my friends doing in the past. I committed to get rid of it, therefore I donate whatever is left. Otherwise, it will just clutter the garage with stuff you hope to sell some day. Also, when you want to have a garage sale - decide if it is to make money or to get rid of "stuff." If it is truly to just get rid of clutter - price it to go at garage sale prices!! People are looking for a bargain. You will not get back what you paid for it, so just let it go and let someone else get a great deal on something they want or need. I am always looking for a great deal!

Now go and declutter something... even if you only take 10 minutes to clean a hot spot!! We need to make room for those Christmas gifts that are going to fill our homes soon!! Happy decluttering!

Spend Less Time Scrubbing

Being a busy mom (I know just the word "Mom" implies the busy!) I am always looking for time savers and I have found a great one when it comes to cleaning. I make many of my cleaners, but this idea just can't be beat! I know it is using chemicals, so you may or may not like the idea... I just like the idea of simple!

I HATE cleaning the stove and the drip pans. Yes, I have a dinosaur that I inherited when we moved into our house. It is electric, with burners and drip pans that don't truly fit together. They are a pain!! However, they must be cleaned.  I have tried everything under the sun, from soaking the drip pans with a dryer sheet, to scrubbing with SOS pads and they just never seem to get all the way clean. Plus the scrubbing is just something I don't have time to do!

I found this incredible cleaning method through pinterest and the blog One Good Thing by Jillee. Here is the link: http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/ I recommend following her blog and her boards on pinterest. She finds amazing cleaning tips and tricks, crafty things to do, recipes, home decor, a little of everything. I have gotten many great ideas following her and I must give credit to her and she gives credit to whomever she gets her ideas from. I think she says this cleaning tip came from the blog The V Spot.

Any way, back to cleaning....

So here I am with these nasty drip pans that I really don't feel like scrubbing... so I keep putting off cleaning the stove and they just get worse and worse, when I come across this simple solution: soak drip pans and burners in a sealed bag with a few splashes of ammonia - that's it!!

 

 

Jillee suggests soaking for 24 hours, however I put them in bags in the morning and washed them before going to bed so it was only about 12 hours and they still came out great!!! She also suggests making and additional cleaning paste of baking soda and hydrogen peroxide to scrub off the last of the residue, however I found it wasn't really necessary for mine. They washed up nicely after they had their little soak!

 

 

I had a nice after picture of the drip pans out of the stove... but I must have deleted it because I can't find it!! Oh well. As you can see in the picture, my stove is shiny and clean.... only to be messed up again in a few short minutes when someone decides to cook!!

 

 

I hope this trick will help you save some time as you get ready for your holiday parties and gatherings of family and friends! Follow my board on Pinterest - Cleaning Tips and Tricks for many other ideas. You can find it here: http://pinterest.com/ackerstew/cleaning-tips-and-tricks/  Take some time to enjoy the holiday season... and spend less time cleaning!!!



 



Life is all about Choices

Bear with me while I go on this little rant and tirade for a moment.

I get so sick and tired of people telling me...

"I just don't understand why this keeps happening to me."
or
"I prayed about it and God doesn't want me to."
or
"I don't understand why things in my life stay the same."
or
"I can't get my kids to stop whining, they just complain all the time."
or
"I have no choice but to stay at this dead end job, where no one appreciates me."
or
"I am always so tired, I never get to bed on time."

REALLY? C'mon people! Life is all about choices!!! Most of the things that happen to us are completely under our control! Now, I know that sometimes things happen that we can not control, but how we react to them is OUR choice.

I have said for a very long time that life is all about choices - and that the choice rules the chooser.  I have lived by this principle for as long as I can remember!

You have a choice when you wake up if you want to be happy or grumpy. You have a choice of what to wear.  You have a choice whether or not you want to go to work, or take your children to school, or teach them at home in my case. Now, you might be saying, "Hold on a second, I don't have a choice to work, if I don't work, we can't pay bills." But, my friend, that is the perfect example of how your choices affect your life.  You do have a choice to go to work and the choice you make will rule your life. If you choose to work, you will have a pay check. If you choose not to, you will not have a pay check and not be able to pay bills, buy groceries, etc.  But the most important thing to remember is: THAT IS A CHOICE!!!!

We might not always like the choices we have to face, however we need to take ownership of them! You made the choice... now deal with it - so to speak!

OK, enough ranting!!

I use this simple principle of taking responsibility for our choices to teach my children just about everything. They make good choices and get rewarded - poor choices usually end in consequences.  So simple - and yet so hard for even adults to understand!  Much of my parenting style is based on the principles of "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.  They teach that it is important to give children choices. My 6 year old son hates to wear pants or a jacket. (He is almost always in shorts and a t shirt) Before we go out in the cold weather, I gently remind him, "Did you know it is really cold and rainy outside? Do you think you might want to grab a jacket?" He says, "No, I'll be fine." And later, when he is cold and complaining, I will remind him that it was his choice to not bring a jacket. He doesn't have much to say after that since it was his choice. Next time, it is pretty much a guarantee he will have something warmer on!! 

Now, I know, I have heard it from my own friends and family - isn't it our responsibility as a parent to make sure our kids have a coat or are dressed properly?  Sure, which is why I reminded my son that it was cold outside.  But, I ask you this - If you are constantly telling your child what to wear, how to act, what to think, what to do... are they actually learning life long lessons? Lessons about choice - that the choices they make affect them... good or bad. 

I like to let my children choose many things in their lives, many things that I simply have decided are not worth a battle. At the same time, when I have to make a decision for them, they are more respectful toward my choices. I remind them, that although they get to make many decisions throughout the day, this one is up to Mom or Dad. There is usual little fuss when this occasion arises!

I want my kids to be able to make appropriate decisions when they are older and Mom or Dad are not around. That first time a kid tries to talk them into doing something they know is wrong and will result in consequences, I want my kids to be able to think for themselves... and I pray every day that God will help them to make good choices in those situations. One of the choices we use in our house is: Is that a Godly choice or a Worldly choice? (more on this in a future blog)

I also tell my kids that I may not always agree with the choices they make, however I will always love them. I say this to them constantly, but especially after they have gotten in trouble for a poor choice. This puts my anger or disappointment that they might be feeling on their choice and my love onto them!! This was something my parents said to me as a teenager and I have never forgotten it or the way it made me feel!!

A year ago, my family went through one of the most difficult experiences of our lives. One I would never wish upon anyone. The situation was much easier to explain to my children when they realized that it was a result of poor choices. They knew that bad things happened, bad choices had been made which resulted in some serious consequences. They understood that although the person's poor choices was and is still affecting them, they also had a choice on how to react. We could sit around crying all the time (which, trust me, I did plenty of crying) or we could pick up and move on toward healing our family.

Although we are still being affected by this person's poor choices, we are surviving and trying to make a difference in the world. Isn't that the most we can ask for? I believe it is a parent's responsibility to raise kids to become responsible adults. I strive in every situation to find the lesson learned. How could we have done better? Or what made it turn out so well? When I am wrong, I tell my kids so and I apologize to them. I own up to my mistakes so that they can see we all make mistakes! We all make poor choices once in a while - but how are you going to move forward from there?

Another example that I found quite interesting was when a friend of mine was going through a divorce and we were talking about choices. She said to me, "But, you don't understand, this wasn't my choice. I love my husband and the last thing I wanted was for this to happen." My response to her? "Well, then I guess you shouldn't have cheated on him. THAT was the choice that is now affecting your life." She was a little shocked - but sometimes the truth hurts. (I tend to be a realist and just tell it like it is!)

Are you making the wrong choices? Maybe you are in a dead end job but feel like you have no where else to go. I'm not telling you to up and quit, but maybe its time to start sending out resumes or go back to school. Or now that it is the holiday season - a season of giving which usually means spending more than we have - maybe you need to take a serious look at your Christmas shopping list. Do you need to rack up credit cards to buy all the gifts you want to give?  Maybe you need to really consider cutting back! Maybe your kids can make gifts - ones from the heart are much more dear in my family!! Your long and costly shopping list is a CHOICE!!! So after you have maxed out your credit cards don't whine and complain about it! You made the choice. Hmmmm... just sayin!

Take some time to start looking at your daily choices and owning up to the decisions you make whether large or small. Some choices are harder than others... I know!! But think about everything you do... it IS your choice! And how you react to other people's choices is up to you! Own up to it! Suck it up! And take the time to teach your children that what they do is a choice.

Just ask my kids and they will tell you...

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES!! 

Now go out and choose wisely!