We had to take the car back. Yes, that's right, we had to take the car back. We had the car for 2 days shy of one month. As a matter of fact, we didn't even have a chance to make a first payment when the dealership called and said that the bank financing us decided they couldn't finance us after all due to our poor credit. I couldn't believe it. We had to take the car back to the dealership. We got our down payment back at least, but now we have no car - well one for my husband to take to work and one for me. (How spoiled we are!)
We still have the truck I drive around town, but taking that to work everyday (100 miles a day) is going to be a killer on gas!! And this will leave me car-less! UGH!!!
At first, I was pretty bummed. As a matter of fact, I was depressed. I was so frustrated with how our life was turning out. From the horrible tradgedy our family had suffered the last couple of years, to my job loss, possibly losing our home, and now this... I was asking, "How much more do we have to go through God?" I was beginning to feel God had forgotten about us.
After thinking it through, it really isn't that big of a deal. We are a homeschooling family which means I do not have to take my children to and from school. I have the truck on the night my children go to our church for Awanas. We have a friend that can take us to church on Sundays. We live within walking distance to a grocery store. It is a quick 10 minute walk to pick up any items we might need during the day. Anything else we need can wait. I have found that I am saving money by not running to the store everytime we have a whim that we need something. This has definitely been a lesson in living more simply and making sure I am organized with my errand list on my hubby's days off.
I think the feeling that I "can't" go somewhere is the depressing part. In reality, I often stay home and don't go anywhere for several days. It was just knowing that I "can't" that makes me feel confined. Isn't that silly?
I'm not sure of the reason, but I know that God has one for not letting us keep the car. Maybe the car we bought was a lemon. We already had a couple of problems with it. Nothing with the motor, more to do with the body, hinges, windows, etc. I truly believe that God was rescuing us from something bigger. We can't always see or understand his plan, but if we wait patiently it will be revealed to us.
I know that someday I will reflect back on this time with clarity and be able to say, "So that is why it happened that way." Until then, I just continue to pray and thank God for the wonderful things He is doing in our lives. I thank Him for the incredible love and understanding of His Word that the Holy Spirit has provided in my children. I know that each experience we face as a family, makes my children stronger and ready to face the obstacles they will face in their lives. I hope they will be able to look back on their child hood and say, "Wow, we were able to make it through all of that, I can face anything with God on my side."
"But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
I know that God has a plan for us. At first I was mad that God allowed all of this to happen, starting with the accident itself. I have since remembered, God knows what he is doing. We have no idea the trouble from which we have been saved or what our future has in store.
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven... For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
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